All Joy No Fun

Did any of you read the article last week from New York Magazine All Joy No Fun - Why Parents Hate Parenting ? If not, you need to allocate about 20 minutes and go read that right now. Parent or not.
Did you read it? WOW right? Ok, now did you read some of the comments? Let me say that I was rather impressed with several of the readers' comments. Intelligent and insightful even. They gave more weight to the article for me. But back to the article...
Heartbreaking...such a limited view on parenting and the choices (or not) behind it. Look, I'll be the first to tell you that I never saw myself as a mom, or maybe it was just that I never saw myself as what I thought the typical 'mom' looked like. Not that I didn't have a good role model.
And insert aside here:
My mother was/is quite possibly one of the most amazing, accomplished and complicated people I have ever had the pleasure to call friend. And I appreciate all of her qualities even more, now that I have my own child. There is an entirely new level now that we are 3 generations. It's like the bonus round in Super Mario, but without the annoying music. Want to love, understand and appreciate your mother more than you thought possible - have a baby.

...and we're back.

I agree that there are new expectations of parenting as outlined in the article. There is a lot of competition and judgment going around too. And this is just as apparent in the Christian community as it is elsewhere.
I have to agree with one of the comments, but refine it and say that having kids will not make you ultimately happy, neither will not having them. Same goes for being married, getting the job or whatever other goal you have. We have to consider how we measure our happiness. Or our joy.

I have a million verses I could stick in here about where my ultimate joy comes from but here are a few of my favorites:
"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full." John 15:11

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

And one that is a little harder, but helps me all the time...

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing for your faith produces steadfastness." James 1: 2-4

The joy/ happiness robbing is a 360 problem as well, economy, leave conditions, current social issues, technology and so on influence us in more ways than we know. No wonder our heads are spinning and we are always second guessing ourselves - when every other blog post or news article says there is a newer and better way to do things.
Ultimately we do have a choice. We have the power in this struggle. There were and still are days when I  have to  stop and reevaluate every hour. Am I going to choose joy? Lord help me choose joy, and remain in You for that joy.

I don't have a concrete response for this, I just thought it needed to be shared. Tell me what you think!

What is THAT?!

I love my sweet baby, but for once...just once, I would like to get out of the house without snot or drool on my work clothes. Impossible you say? Well can I at least notice it before I am halfway through the work day? Preferably before I have seen about ten people who are rather important or well known in the community.
Granted, when you live in a small town everyone thinks  they are important - so maybe I have only seen about two important people. But THEY weren't going to say "Hey lady what is that on your pants leg?" Oh this? Hmm, looks like a baby booger to me! It's part of my outfit. It's my final accessory, no ensemble of mine is complete without it. All the mommas are wearing them. What? You don't have one? HOW JEALOUS ARE YOU?!
I mean I could avoid touching her altogether, but how can you resist this:

And thanks for all of your prayers! I am thrilled to report that The Hubs has secured temporary employment. We are all very excited about buying Charmin over the scratchy generic brand for the next little bit. Our bottoms and noses thank you too! Because if there is one thing I hate to sacrifice it is quality TP - and I know many of you are bobbing your heads at your screens right now.

Choosing joy

I know this is not a revelation. But that doesn't always make it easy. I was driving home from lunch listening to some fabulous music, the sun was shining and my freaking eye was STILL twitching. Anyone following me on Twitter knows this has been going on for about 9 days now. I think it is due to stress, shocking I know.
Any who...so I was driving trying to figure out what exactly was all this stress from? I mean stress comes from worry and is kind of like fear in a way, and I heard from someone once that fear was a distrust in God's ultimate control or plan, or something more eloquent than that. Now my husband says he sleeps like a Calvinist - code for sleeps VERY VERY well. And granted, he is probably not full on Calvinist, but I sure would like to sleep more like him!
This week I have wanted to throw things. That is not a good sign. (I said wanted to people, I haven't lost any McCarty to my frenzy just yet.)
And then yesterday my baby did not want to leave daycare. She didn't want to see me when I picked her up. Devastating. I had to peel her from the shoulder of one of our sweet sweet daycare ladies. And she cried all the way out the door and into the car seat. What a motivator for re-evaluating life. I am sure she can feel the tension at home. Granted, I am sure she just really likes all of the toys at daycare too, and what a nice problem to have.
Then it all came smashing in together in a state of "I don't want my daughter to go into the fetal position every time she sees my face spasm - Dear Jesus please help me let go and let my eye stop twitching!" (And I mean Dear Jesus in earnest, not in vain, for the record.)
So what I am rambling on about is making a choice, a conscious and intentional choice to be joyful, or at the very least to let go of the fear and begin to trust more. Some days I am great at it, other days not so much. I mean some hours I am good at and the other 22 or so, well, it's a toss up. It may be that I need to cut out some of the interference, and maybe cut back on the sugar and caffeine as well.

So after that deluge I will leave you with some cuteness! This is our latest trick!

Peek-a-boo!
By the way, can you tell that she loves feeding herself these days? Basically we just strip her down in the sink after and rinse with the faucet hose. No kidding - really we just sit her on the floor and let Lola go to town. It's a two-fer: dog and baby bather! Bonus!!
And I promise I am getting back to my normal, slightly inappropriate, and sassy self. I just need a new haircut.

Raising the water line...

In a matter of days Baby H will reach that unbelievable date where she has been on the outside longer than she was on the inside. Insanity. All those knowing and slightly snide comments "Don't wish your pregnancy away, they are easier to take care of on the inside than on the outside!" Sure, yea, yea, yea...this part is WAY SO TOTALLY AWESOME. Unlike the peeing every hour and ridiculous weight gain.  Now, if you have been paying attention you know that Baby H passed the nine month mark three days ago, but she hibernated 8 days past her due date, so a few more days to go before she crosses the line of outside vs. inside. I told her we are all expecting a full report within  days of that milestone, but judging by the grins and giggles I think she likes it better here on the outside. And I know, for all your biology sticklers out there that technically you are pregnant for 10 months, but who besides meticulous charting people knew they are pregnant the first few weeks?
Denial was a very happy place for me until I slipped up and told the Hubs that I was, erm, like on day 38 or something...oopsies!
This morning was an exciting one in the life of Baby H and a terrifying one for the three pound furbaby. Today was the day Baby H realized...hey wait a minute, you mean I DON'T HAVE to just sit here playing with my toys? I CAN MOVE?! Watch out dust bunnies and unsuspecting leaf and grass bits, there is a grimy baby paw making its way toward you. I am about to get my money's worth out of our vacuum...
Check out her serious cowlick! Oh and did I mention we are working on tooth number seven? I say we because everything around here is a group effort - whether we all like it or not.

Busted!!

Guess you didn't read the last post huh Baby H? MOTHERS KNOW EVERYTHING!!! And if they don't they find out...isn't that how it went, mom? Apparently she only pretends she can't hold a bottle at home. Of course she already doesn't want to be rocked to sleep anymore, so I guess I should enjoy the last few months of giving her a bottle.

We have a winner!

We are famous - sort of... Harper is Baby of the Month!

Thanks to Kati and the rest of the staff at SnuggBugg Baby for making such great products and for recognizing a cute baby when they see one. I know, I am biased. And thanks to Mary-Kathryn and Kathy for thinking of us and getting us those precious hats and sending me the link to the contest.
I must confess, I will be glad for the warmer weather, but I will be sad when she cannot wear all of her little hats. But we still have some SnuggBugg onesies to show off!

Safer Bath, Safer World

 I really want this little bath ornament from Skip Hop! As if bath time isn't fun enough for us.

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If wedding hoopla makes thousands, then baby hoopla makes millions!  There are so many things out there that are marketed to strike fear into the heart of expectant and new moms. You must have this bottle sanitizer or your baby will get the fatal ick! I could make a long list here but I won't. There are also tons of toys and gadgets promising to make your baby happier and your life easier. Let me tell you that if I have learned a little so far it is this: happy momma = happy baby. And this happy momma doesn't need a ton of baby crap piling up in my 1263 square foot house. So my policy is to have one large toy and once it gets boring we move onto the next large toy. First we had the baby papasan - which was great when Baby H got the Baby Boogies and had to sleep almost upright. Then that was boring. Then we had the swing - magic for managing dinners with the hubby during the early weeks. Now we have the exersaucer/ jumper - I could not shower and dry my hair without this thing!

We have about 6 little toys that we rotate including the BlaBla and Baby H is none the wiser. Sure we will end up with a trunk full of things, but for now we manage this small menagerie. Ugh, though I shudder to think what child marketing will do to her little brain. Maybe it's best to just keep the TV off for the first decade?

Cause and Effect

And every action has a reaction...this has never been more apparent than with a baby. Like the unfortunate chocolate chip cookie incident(s). Or when I think that, she can make it a few more minutes so I can take the long loop on my walk. There are some things we do for a quick fix that end up being a habit that takes FOREVER to break. Like when the nurses came in to me on hour 39 into No Sleep Marathon of 2009 (that looks to be taking up a good part of 2010) and told me they had tried everything to make my baby happy and that she was still fussy so didn't I want to just go a head and try to give her a pacifier? Didn't they know that I had just pushed a watermelon, a large one at that, out of something the size of a lime? Didn't they know that I was on some serious pain medication to numb the damage that watermelon caused? OF COURSE THEY DID! And that is why they asked, knowing that I would just give in and say yes because I was too sleep deprived and too doped up to argue. Bottom line is I blame the nurses for our current situation - and are any of them around now? Nooooo.
Here is what a typical night looks like at our house:
7:00pm - Baby H in bed, Nuk secured
8:00pm - packing the diaper bag, washing something - there is always something that needs washing
8:49pm - Baby H cries because the Nuk has fallen out
8:50pm - wash face and in bed reading
9:18pm - more fussing and Nuk fetching
9:30pm - lights out if we make it that far
9:31pm - are you kidding me, come on remember the watermelon incident?!
10:59pm - grr, pop the Nuk back in
1:23am - again with the fetching, nightly potty break
3:01am - ARGH! not again
4:03am - where the hell is my duck tape, pass me some rubber bands
5:09am - WHERE THE F ARE THOSE F-ING NURSES?!

And that is when Baby H is perfectly healthy, no teeth coming in and the the diapers have held more than their maximum capacity. Is there a boot camp for this kind of thing? There should be. Baby pacifier weaning boot camp, they would make millions. Do you know how much good sleep is worth? Do you know how irrational sleep deprived parents can be? I know some one out there wants to use us to their financial advantage - come on I am begging you!
We have tried on two unsuccessful weekends to wean Baby H from the pacifier. Big fat FAIL! The first weekend she got a massive fever, and the second she was teething. And I was not going to be that mom that took away the pacifier the weekend the tooth came in, how heartless. I'm sure it is bad enough that I have caffeine on a regular basis.
So we have to remedy this situation soon. We are both going crazy. I drove through two traffic lights in succession and could not immediately recall the color of the lights - that is not safe people! It seems like a dose of tough love may be coming to our house sooner rather than later. Unless that boot camp thing works out - you have a guaranteed customer right here!!

Throw it and go

My sister, we call her Boo Boo, got this for Baby H for Christmas. And man does she love this little frog. Niki is her given name and you can find all of the precious Blabla dolls at blablakids.com. It is such a great company and the dolls are machine washable! I really hope that she loves her Blabla as much as I do. Niki is not someone I would mind taking out in public if necessary.

For the record it is really not worth it to have baby clothes or toys that you cannot toss in the wash and go. You always think - oh that is so beautiful, a hand stitched day gown with lace and ribbon. Let's be honest your little one will wear that once and never again because you won't have time to hand wash it, air dry it, iron it and get it back into the closet before they have grown out of it. I have several outfits that Baby H only wore once because somewhere around 2 months old she starting growing exponentially. I swear we would go get her out of her crib and instead of a sweet baby lay the incredible Hulk - seams clinging together for life and shins showing from her pants where ankles were once covered.
I have been absolutely blown away at how fast Baby H grows. I cannot keep up. I rotate her clothing supply on an almost bi-monthly basis. And thankful she has not broken the bank - yet. I just want to take a moment to thank our wonderful families and friends who have kept our baby continually clothed, because if it was up to us that little booger monster would be rolling around in the same three onsies and a diaper. Pause - I cannot wait for summer because nothing is cuter than little naked baby cheeks!
Nothing brings out generosity and kindness of spirit like a baby, and nothing will ever make me so humble and grateful - the many gifts of supplies and time have been astounding, and I hope that when my turn comes I will be just as generous.