Shameful...

I have to tell all of you what I just did. I have to tell you so that I will not repeat this very shameful and self destructive behavior again: I just watched The Biggest Loser while EATING BEN & JERRY'S ICE CREAM!! Jillian Michaels is totally coming to kick my ass. I actually am afraid of her - I can't even make eye contact with the 30 Day Shred dvd cover in Walmart. I know this is a terrible thing I just did, really awful.
So how has my training being going you ask? Ha. Last Sunday, not the one we just had but the one before that, yea that one, I ran 2.2 miles on the treadmill. This was a week after the famed first post-baby run of a whopping 2.35 miles. I actually managed to work out several times in between those runs too. Well this most recent run was a mistake. I thought I could just keep using my old shoes until I got the news ones in, but I was very wrong. Plus I only got the new ones in a day after this run. Well here we are 9 days since that last run and my knees have only stopped hurting today. From someone who has had two, albeit minor, knee surgeries I just don't like to mess around with knee pain. So I took a good long break. I have the new shoes and I am going back to the gym tomorrow, but I am going to do some eliptical training - I say this with much determination.
The problem is my gym only has two of the eliptical machines that have the moving arms - they have four of the cheater versions, you know the ones with handles that everyone just leans on. I don't need that temptation - hello eating ice cream while watching the nation's most inspirational fitness show! So I will have to haul it from work and beat out crazy sweatband lady (she always wears one of those braided terrycloth kind that matches her outfit) who barely sweats mind you and the plethora of co-eds that seem to always be present.
Pause here for ranting. Why the hell do Ole Miss students need to join a gym?! You have a perfectly decent athletic facility that is free. FREE! You can save that money, or better yet use it for your weekly social engagements. Don't think your parents don't know that is where all the money goes anyways - and why you now have to join a gym. To work out twice as hard to get rid of all that beer and chicken on a stick. Leave the other gyms to us less fortunate, those who must pay out of our own pockets for our gym membership and therefore trying to make the most of that ridiculous fee and the manic 30 to 40 free minutes that we have to be there. Rant over.

The real reason I have to get back into the gym is that if  I don't start lifting weights and building up some muscle I won't be able to pick up Baby H anymore. That kid is turning into quite the chunk. Relatively speaking. My guess is she has doubled her birth weight by now - my not so little watermelon weighed 8lbs 8oz when she rapidly entered this world, but we will save that story for another time.  

Here is the first of many lasts. And I think that is what is shocking to me, for every 'first' there is a 'last' and I just never expected that.

Cause and Effect

And every action has a reaction...this has never been more apparent than with a baby. Like the unfortunate chocolate chip cookie incident(s). Or when I think that, she can make it a few more minutes so I can take the long loop on my walk. There are some things we do for a quick fix that end up being a habit that takes FOREVER to break. Like when the nurses came in to me on hour 39 into No Sleep Marathon of 2009 (that looks to be taking up a good part of 2010) and told me they had tried everything to make my baby happy and that she was still fussy so didn't I want to just go a head and try to give her a pacifier? Didn't they know that I had just pushed a watermelon, a large one at that, out of something the size of a lime? Didn't they know that I was on some serious pain medication to numb the damage that watermelon caused? OF COURSE THEY DID! And that is why they asked, knowing that I would just give in and say yes because I was too sleep deprived and too doped up to argue. Bottom line is I blame the nurses for our current situation - and are any of them around now? Nooooo.
Here is what a typical night looks like at our house:
7:00pm - Baby H in bed, Nuk secured
8:00pm - packing the diaper bag, washing something - there is always something that needs washing
8:49pm - Baby H cries because the Nuk has fallen out
8:50pm - wash face and in bed reading
9:18pm - more fussing and Nuk fetching
9:30pm - lights out if we make it that far
9:31pm - are you kidding me, come on remember the watermelon incident?!
10:59pm - grr, pop the Nuk back in
1:23am - again with the fetching, nightly potty break
3:01am - ARGH! not again
4:03am - where the hell is my duck tape, pass me some rubber bands
5:09am - WHERE THE F ARE THOSE F-ING NURSES?!

And that is when Baby H is perfectly healthy, no teeth coming in and the the diapers have held more than their maximum capacity. Is there a boot camp for this kind of thing? There should be. Baby pacifier weaning boot camp, they would make millions. Do you know how much good sleep is worth? Do you know how irrational sleep deprived parents can be? I know some one out there wants to use us to their financial advantage - come on I am begging you!
We have tried on two unsuccessful weekends to wean Baby H from the pacifier. Big fat FAIL! The first weekend she got a massive fever, and the second she was teething. And I was not going to be that mom that took away the pacifier the weekend the tooth came in, how heartless. I'm sure it is bad enough that I have caffeine on a regular basis.
So we have to remedy this situation soon. We are both going crazy. I drove through two traffic lights in succession and could not immediately recall the color of the lights - that is not safe people! It seems like a dose of tough love may be coming to our house sooner rather than later. Unless that boot camp thing works out - you have a guaranteed customer right here!!

Big day...

So many things have happened in the last few days that were worth noting that I had to share them! First up:
I was able to button my first pair of pre-pregnancy pants! Applause all around. Fine that it only took me a little over five months, but let's be honest I wasn't really trying that hard. Remember the cookies? I am still perfecting them, by the way. But apparently they didn't do that much harm because I BUTTONED MY PANTS! Ha! So there is that. And all you people that can slink back into your skinny jeans weeks after giving birth, I feel sorry for you because you did not get to eat near as many cookies as I did.
What else? Oh! Major accomplishment number two: everyone got out of the door on time this morning. And I actually got to work a few minutes early. There was a time when this was my norm - that time was during the bliss of second trimester. You know when you have the insomnia and can't sleep but for some reason have unexplained energy that you must use. I used mine to get my ass out of bed and to work in a manner so timely that my former boss received a message that was time stamped 7:56. Uh huh, I was there before I had to be, and I was working! Anyways my new boss, bless his heart (don't you just love Southern expressions), is so understanding and after I totally abandoned him while on maternity leave he still overlooks the fact that I cannot seem to get myself there before 8:05, ever. Even on the days when Baby H sounds her alarm well before mine goes off. I promise I am working on this.
Also, I got my shoes! My sweet husband picked them up for me while on his way to class earlier this week. Woo hoo. Nevermind that they are hot pink - so pink that Barbie is jealous. I think they will make me run faster, hey I can hope right? If anything they will make my body more readily identifiable when they have to scrape me up off of the side of the road after attempting to complete (not compete) in one of the largest races in North America.

Alright I know that this post is all over the place. I was just so darn excited I had to share. But don't come here looking for logic (see previous post) or coherency. This is not the place. I'll try to keep it in line a bit more but this weekend was a total sleep sucker. Seriously, Baby H was sick, then crabby, then had shots, then was sick and crabby from the shots - and now it is almost Thursday. Must. Get. More. Sleep. Not tonight though, I am on baby duty solo since my other half seems to have a fever and is feeling ill. Who was that crazy lady talking about having more babies?

Call me crazy...

Ok, so I am going to just go ahead and put this out there and hope and pray that this feeling goes away. Why oh why oh why can I not stop thinking about having another baby??
There, I said it, it's out there. Now begin the unsolicited advice - that is what the comment section of these things is for people!
But seriously, this crazy thought came into my head in the weirdest way. I kept hearing about people being pregnant and I would get this little tingle of jealousy - what is that? Maybe I just loved the attention so much? And then it progressed to some sort of reasoning for me to stay slightly out of shape, because what is the point of losing all that weight and toning up if you are just going to balloon out again? Just last Monday I was telling my husband these things. Out loud, where he could hear me! And then I started rationalizing to him out loud that if we had our next children (yes that is more than one) close together when were through with diapers we would be totally done. And sure teething may last four years or so, but then it would be over. I know this logic is flawed somewhere, but it is not apparent enough to keep me from thinking this way. There is the slight issue of finances - but hey that is what hand-me-downs are for. No I would not care in the slightest if Junior wore all pink - it wouldn't really scar him until grade school anyways.
Never mind the fact that hubby is going back to school. I am sure you will hear of my new found respect for single working mothers soon. But by the time he is done with school will be just about the time we would need the extra hands - because they, yes more than one, would not really be all that mobile for the first nine-ish months right?

Here is my final argument:

Look at her! How could I not want five more just like her?! Boy or girl, if they come out this cute and this sweet. I have been warned of this phenomenon - having a good baby first. Apparently it is how you end up with an extra large family. The second one turns out to be a handful, so you keep having them trying to get back to the original sweetness and five delivery room ceilings later you are just left thinking man that is a lot of laundry!

I know all of you are just dying to know about my training. I know you were just about to Facebook stalk me to see if I had in fact done the running that I said I would do. WELL I DID! I actually did 2.35 miles thank you very much. Sure I walked some of it, and sure I ate pizza and chocolate chip cookies just before. But I did it. And I maintain that those cookies helped me every bit of the way. Though my husband has banned me from eating them for a long long time. More on that later.
I am quite pleased with myself for keeping with it. I have varied a little from the training plan, but for the most part I am sticking with it despite a rather serious shoe predicament. See apparently Asics cut back on their production and you cannot get this shoe until the new shipment goes out, nationwide. Or at least that is what they guy at Fleet Feet told me, but he already knew I had a gift card to the store so he has my money coming anyways. I have run in the same shoe since my junior year of college, they have kept the same design, minus a few minor structural improvements, and I love it. So I am patiently waiting for the latest version to come hurtling down the conveyor belts. This is what I want:

The GT - 2150. A fine piece of running equipment. Let's pause for a moment for the glorious simplicity that is the sport of running. All you really need is shoes. Well shoes and some serious sports-bra layering in my current condition. But don't you just love the fact that you can lace up and go? Nothing has to be tuned up, pumped up or tightened down. No trailer or rack required. Ah I love a low maintenance sport. And a big thank you to my husband's sweet sister for getting me that gift card that I cannot wait to swipe!

Ok so about the cookies...if anyone saw my tweet a day ago you would understand somewhat where I am going with this. So Tuesday my husband picks up Baby H from daycare, but it took him a minute to recognize her. Why? Well because she was in a Christmas outfit, and it was January 12th and the name "Max" was embriodered on it. Hmmm. Who is Max and is he missing his favorite festive wear? Apparently the day care keeps extra clothing on hand for "situations" like these. Situations like ours, where mom has had one too many chocolate chip cookies that sets off a chain of unfortunate events that can only result in not one, but two total outfit changes. And here I was thinking that one extra was enough! They kindly put the sad aftermath neatly into a little plastic bag. So thank you sweet ladies that love my baby enough to not let her sit around half naked because momma was overly self-indulgent, and thank you Max for leaving behind your Christmas outfit from 1997. Not that Baby H minded one bit. Here is a brief synopsis of the day's events as retold by Baby H herself:

Are we there yet...

So I am into the first week of my training. Ask me how much I have run. No really ask me! ZERO!! So tomorrow all of you, yes all 6 of you, ask me if I ran, ok? I am going to the gym this afternoon to run two miles. That is right, my first post-baby run will be two miles. Is it ok if the run turns into more of a walk/run? And no I am not sitting here blogging hours before my first post-baby run with a slice of reheated pizza in my hand. Absolutely not! And I will NOT get up and get a chocolate-chip cookie when I am done. Blast that amazing invention of a Kitchenaid mixer - it just makes it so easy.

This is not a pretty picture but I had to capture my first mashed potatoes in my new mixer, I did them all by myself. What a defining moment. I had a baby and now I have done mashed potatoes.

Yes I am that lame, but my hubby said that they were amazing, even better than the ones that came out of a box in flake form. And coming from a guy who was a bachelor for the good part of his twenties (read: all food was instant) that is a HUGE compliment! He really is quite the foodie, and to his credit does most of the cooking in the house these days.

We have actually begun to get into a better rhythm with our family and thanks to Emealz we make dinner at least five nights a week. We have been doing it for about two weeks so I will have to let you know, but so far it is pretty great. The food has not been bad, it usually takes thirty minutes or under to prepare the meal, and we are saving a decent amount on our groceries. It is worth it to me simply for the fact that I don't have to spend brain power on thinking about what to make for dinner or trying to come up with a grocery list. So now I can use my brain power for blogging and all my spare time for training! Woo hoo, woo. Can you hear the excitement in my voice?
Seriously though, it does free up some time. Any little bit helps these days! Ok enough procrastinating, I better get my butt to the gym and join the many many others that will be there determined to fulfill their New Year's resolutions before the end of the month!

Moving along

One of the things I am hoping to do this year is run the Cooper River Bridge Run in Charleston, SC. My reason for this is two-fold. It will help me shed those last pesky baby pounds that just won't shake off, not that I have been trying that hard. And I will get to visit the food capital of the South! I know my two reasons are in total opposition, but if I am going to bust my rear and train for this thing the least I can do to reward myself is indulge in some good lowcountry fare.
I have a training schedule and I am hoping to stick to it as best as I can. This is where a good husband comes in handy for me, someone has to watch Baby H while I run. Baby H is not quite baby jogger ready unfortunately. Though I cannot wait for that day! She is however, big enough to have her two bottom teeth! That is right people my little baby has her two bottom teeth, momma is so proud. Also, I am pretty sure heard her practicing her arguments for staying out past curfew last night while falling asleep, but her daddy is going to handle that conversation. The teeth have brought quite a bit of entertainment, along with a few tears. Here she is trying to figure out what to do with them, poor kid just figured out what her tounge was for.

">

Throw it and go

My sister, we call her Boo Boo, got this for Baby H for Christmas. And man does she love this little frog. Niki is her given name and you can find all of the precious Blabla dolls at blablakids.com. It is such a great company and the dolls are machine washable! I really hope that she loves her Blabla as much as I do. Niki is not someone I would mind taking out in public if necessary.

For the record it is really not worth it to have baby clothes or toys that you cannot toss in the wash and go. You always think - oh that is so beautiful, a hand stitched day gown with lace and ribbon. Let's be honest your little one will wear that once and never again because you won't have time to hand wash it, air dry it, iron it and get it back into the closet before they have grown out of it. I have several outfits that Baby H only wore once because somewhere around 2 months old she starting growing exponentially. I swear we would go get her out of her crib and instead of a sweet baby lay the incredible Hulk - seams clinging together for life and shins showing from her pants where ankles were once covered.
I have been absolutely blown away at how fast Baby H grows. I cannot keep up. I rotate her clothing supply on an almost bi-monthly basis. And thankful she has not broken the bank - yet. I just want to take a moment to thank our wonderful families and friends who have kept our baby continually clothed, because if it was up to us that little booger monster would be rolling around in the same three onsies and a diaper. Pause - I cannot wait for summer because nothing is cuter than little naked baby cheeks!
Nothing brings out generosity and kindness of spirit like a baby, and nothing will ever make me so humble and grateful - the many gifts of supplies and time have been astounding, and I hope that when my turn comes I will be just as generous.

Soundtracks of my life

Music plays around me all the time, sometimes almost annoyingly. I woke up this morning and had MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This" in my head, no explanation for that. Anyways, the title of my blog came to me in a panic of - oh my gosh I have to commit to something else?! Haven't I left all of my major commitments back in 2009? More on that later. There is a great song by one of my favorite bands, Five for Fighting called "Something About You" and I thought it would lend an appropriate title. I am new at this so hopefully this link works, and if John Ondrasik sees this - John I just want you to know I have purchased every single one of your albums and love them.

Anyways I have been telling everyone for over a year I would do a blog so here it is. Most likely the only people who will read this will be my husband (for censorship purposes - love you), my family and a few friends. But if someone else happens upon it great for them too. I have little to no expectations for this other than I hope it will be something I can keep and show to my little one, once she is old enough to appreciate momma's terribly dry and sarcastic sense of humor.

I am a new mom who works full time, so I really don't have time for this. But ever since Doogie Howser I have dreamed of chronicling my life electronically, and thanks to Internet I can now take any one who is willing along for the ride.